It’s been 6 months since I received the test results confirming I have herpes (HSV-1, for the win). I wrote a handful of posts about my whole experience with it when I first disclosed my status publicly, but I haven’t written much since then, because honestly, there hasn’t been much to write about it. Regardless, I thought it would be worthwhile to give a quick update of how things have been for anyone that comes across any of these posts.
The farther I get away from “ground zero,” the original text message and diagnosis that kicked this all of, the less impact herpes has on me (hedonic adaptation at its best). I used to spend a lot of time thinking about it, but now it only comes up on rare occasions. I’m more mindful of news stories tied to it, like this gem on research to cure it from Smithsonian Mag that Emily Depasse shared a while back, and more aware of it than before, but it is renting fewer rooms in my mental hotel.
I’ve come to accept the “herps” as a small detail in the story of my life with no real implications (outside of romantic contexts). That’s largely due to the fact that it seems to be completely asymptotic for me. At this point, I’m even questioning if I actually did have an outbreak back then or if I simply associated an unrelated thing, like a standard cold, with an outbreak since I was so singularly focused on, and worried about, whether or not I had herpes.
I find it annoying that there’s so much uncertainty to it; who knows, maybe I got it in Puerto Rico when I was a wee child. Or maybe it went down exactly how I think it did. I’ll never actually know. And all things considered, it doesn’t really matter.
Another reason that it’s been such a non-issue for me is that I’m not dating or trying to date right now. When that time comes, it will probably check into a few suites in my mental hotel, and I’m sure it will be staying with some baggage, but I figure I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. It will probably also spur a few more blog posts.
Until then, long days, and pleasant nights.